If you have no third month of sex – be proud: you are in trend!

A trend tries to revive about once a generation, but it rarely manages to last longer than five years: no ideology can withstand the pressure of vital force for a long time. Celibacy and tantra have exhausted themselves. Childfree and workaholism never became sufficiently strong arguments against sex. This time the trend tried to enter from the East.        

Modern ascetics – who are they?

Proponents of austerities and sexual abstinence believe that a person who does not have sex releases energy that can be spent on self-realization and creativity, opening up mental and physical opportunities that are inaccessible to ordinary people. 

Usually men and women with a weak sexual constitution voluntarily refuse sex . By such a refusal, they do not cause particular harm to either physical or emotional health and quite happily exist (including in a pair). 

But still, the so-called voluntary refusal is most often not such. If you look at each case, it is easy to find a reason. Very often these are emotional injuries, serious sexual blocks, repression of attraction due to fear of rejection and rejection, and so on.    

Such prohibitions are very similar to anorexia, when a person regularly and severely restricts himself in food. If you constantly suggest to yourself that sex is dirt and the source of all ills, it will literally vomit from it.  

As a rule, after working with a psychologist emotional problems and injuries, you can return to normal sexual relations.

It is much more serious when in a situation of forced abstinence there is a person with a strong sexual constitution. The absence of a sexual partner, moral principles, the expectation of true love against the background of a high and unsatisfied libido creates a lot of difficulties. Dissatisfaction, no matter what sphere of life it touches, always gives a feeling of oppressive longing or, alternatively, aggressiveness.  

Side effects

A woman often evaluates her own attractiveness and femininity precisely by how much a man wants closeness with her, and without sex her self-esteem can greatly decrease.

However, if abstinence is due to good reasons, then there will be no psychological trauma. It is enough for a woman to know what they want her – and in due time everything will return to normal. Believers abstain from sex during fasting, the wives of sailors faithfully wait for husbands, many gynecologists prohibit sex in the last trimester of pregnancy … 

After prolonged abstinence, the question arises: will not the resumption of sexual relations harm the body as well as overeating after a long hunger? Will sexual skills be forgotten? 

Given that sex is still an instinctively programmed action, you won’t lose your “skill”, especially if you restore it together with your loved one. Although men after returning to “big sex” may have difficulties with erection and premature ejaculation, and a woman after a long break can be difficult to experience an orgasm – these are temporary difficulties.

Pendulum effect

Abstinence, like any post, is a temporary measure. Its meaning is in its cessation. When you endure, endure, endure – and then again! – and everything is possible. After conscious (but not too protracted) abstinence, all sex – as for the first time! With the same passion and rapture.

Periodic deliberate rejection of carnal pleasures arouses passion and sexual appetite and strengthens the bond between man and woman. There is even such a practice in family psychology: for two to four weeks, partners can hug, kiss, but sex as such is prohibited. The Forbidden fruit is sweet. And during the abstinence, a man and a woman begin to look at each other in a new way, that spark that almost died out flashes: having reached the limit, the pendulum will swing in the other direction – and unbridled sex will return.

However, do not keep the pendulum at the limit for too long: it will lose inertia and just hang … Two to four weeks is the maximum for abstinence without consequences.